it's just something i need to do more.

I know my blog updates have been few and far between.

I like to pretend and tell myself that I am just so busy that I don't have time (which is about 60% true).

The other part of me is just lazy and has lost the inspiration to blog.

It does have a little to do with the fact that I don't enjoy looking at this blog anymore. That it makes me frustrated because I don't know how to make it look pretty and I wish I did! 

However, my aunt brought over a few of my mom's journals that she found among her things and I had the opportunity to read them. I was so happy and grateful I had these records of my mom and that she has written them down. Although, I wish she would have written MORE! I learned a lot about her that I never knew, for example: She never had morning sickness while pregnant... WHAT?

Reading those journals was quite inspiring and had me thinking that I just need to document my life better. Not only for me and my own therapeutic reasons, but also for my family, my posterity. How cool is it to read about another time from the perspective of a relative?

So my new goal is to write in my journal or on this blog as often as possible. Even if it is just about the everyday mundane stuff. Even if it is about how I enjoy watching T.V. shows meant for 13 and 14 year olds... (cough, "Vampire Diaries" cough) Because it may not be interesting now, but it might be in 20 years.

Here's to documenting life.

Next on the list:

Our Maui Honeymoon!

that one time i assaulted a cop

in my head.

But, I REALLY wanted to - in real life.

I was driving to work (I drive to work these days. I am so sick of city living and traveling by Bart. Sue me), and was going particularly fast down a hill.

I didn't see him until I was already going down the hill and I slammed on my breaks to slow down but it was too late. He had already seen me, and from the looks of it, clocked me at speeding down this dumb hill.

He pulled me over and there we were. Just him and I. Mano y mano. (Is that even how you spell it?)

Now, listen to me. I have a fairly decent track record with these people. I have only paid a total of 2 tickets in my 9 years of driving. I would say, that's not too bad. I generally get away with warnings and get out of tickets with my irresistible charm and let's face it, boobs. Whatever. You can judge me. I use these puppies to my advantage. When you are cursed with these bad boys which give you back pain everyday, the inability to find reasonably priced bras that fit and clothing that doesn't make you look pregnant and/or top heavy, your judgements are just white noise to me. When I find an opportunity to use them to my advantage, I take it.

And let's face it, by use them, I mean maybe lean over the window of my vehicle just a TAD more than normal. 

Anyway, back to my story.

The officer told me he had me clocked going 22 mph over the speed limit.

And the conversation when like this:

Officer: "Where are you going?"

Alix: "Work."

O: "Where do you work?"

A: "Downtown. It takes me 20 to 25 minutes away."

O: "Are you running late?"

A: "I am now... And I was running a few minutes late."

O: "Well, maybe you should learn to get up earlier."

A: "Good advice. Have you been talking to my husband?"

O: Straight face.

A: Takes foot off break while in park, car rolls about an inch and half forward.

O: "Whoa! Are you going to try and run from me?"

A: "Are you an idiot?" Ok fine, I didn't say that. "No. I would never run away from an officer of the law."

Officer then goes to his handy dandy motorcycle with my license and registration while I wait 10 minutes for him to tell me the following.

O: "Ok, well I have you going 22 mph over the speed limit. Here is your ticket. And just so you know, if you are planning on living here for more than 3 months, you have to get a California license to take traffic school or fight a ticket. Also, you are not eligible for that FastTrack you got there. I should write a ticket for that, but I'm feeling generous today."

A: "Well, aren't you kind."

I take my ticket and drive away into the sunset with a horrible taste in my mouth for all California law enforcement.

What a fabulous week this is turning to to be.

real life HOUSE episode...

Minus a real, proper diagnosis.
It's a long story, but here it is.

It all started on Friday evening. My mom was staying with Kirk and I through the weekend and I had to take Friday off work to be with her. We ran a bunch of errands and Kirk called and asked me to pick him up from work downtown. 

When I got to his office, Kirk was complaining about a pretty bad headache and body aches and we attributed it to maybe he was getting the flu.

(Sidebar: I don't do well with illnesses. Especially those that are contagious. I kind of freaked out and thought about my mom staying with us and was worried we would all have it by the end of the day.)

We got home from SF and Kirk immediately went to bed and slept until about midnight. I had put my mom to bed and climbed into my bed with Kirk and he was awake and clearly in distress. He was feverish, shivering, hot to cold in seconds. He told me he was nauseous, and felt like he was going to pass out all the time, and his body hurt so bad that the pain level was somewhere near the pain he felt when passing a kidney stone.

I started to think that he had a kidney stone again and we needed to go to the hospital but Kirk wanted to brave it through the night and see how he felt the next day.

The night went on and it was awful. I probably slept for MAYBE 3 hours and woke up at 9am to help my mom get breakfast. Kirk came down the stairs around noon and said he felt worse than the day before. We called every single instacare in the area and NONE of them were open. We decided that Kirk should wait until Monday and if he still feels like death, we should go to instacare or the ER.

I ran to Walgreens and picked up some Advil PM and a Jamba Juice and that seemed to help him sleep for a few hours. When he woke up, he said he felt worse. 

He was shaking and shivering and in so much pain and I couldn't do anything to make him feel better. I finally said that we HAD to go to the ER.

By this time, it was 11pm and we were all ready for bed and in our pajamas. I quickly changed out of my polkadot onesie and into more presentable clothing and helped my mom change into something other than her leopard print pjs. 

Kirk was taken into the ER where they hooked an IV to him and took his vitals and a blood sample. They also did a flu test where they stuck a Q-tip looking thing up his nose practically touching his brain to see if it was the flu. (I was laughing pretty hard at this test. I'm such a mean wife, I know, but seriously I couldn't even imagine the uncomfortableness of it all. And I was so sleep deprived, most things were funny at that point anyway.)

Kirk had a fever of 101.5 and his blood pressure was so low the nurses were worried.

By the time we saw a doctor, it was 1am and my mom was done. I took her home and put her to bed and ran straight back to the ER and stayed there for another 5 hours before the doctor came back and said she doesn't know what he has but if she were to guess, it's the flu even though the flu test came back negative.
I had to go home so I could be there when my mom woke up but I was also worried about leaving Kirk at the ER. Kirk promised he would call when they would discharge him, or call a friend to take him home if I didn't answer.
So I headed home and woke up 4 hours later in a panic, worried that I missed Kirk's call since he wasn't home. As soon as my mom and I were showered, we went back to the hospital where I found out Kirk was admitted. Since Kirk's flu tests all came back negative and his blood pressure was so low, they had to keep him for 24 hour surveillance. Kirk kept saying his pain level was at an 8 or 9 and so they gave him the good stuff. And it only took the edge off. They also did a lumbar puncture, where the go in with a needle into the spine and extract some spinal fluid to see if he had meningitis. I was FREAKING out because meningitis is scary. Very scary. Luckily, the fluid was clear and there was no meningitis.
The doctors were stumped and still had no answers for us.
At around 5, I took my mom to Berkeley to meet up with my uncle and have her go back to Fairfield.
That took a little load off and I was able to go back to the hospital while Kirk's friend Seth kept him company.
So for the next 16 hours, I set up camp in the room and waited for Kirk to feel better, for a doctor to give us some answers, and to go home.

Watching Chopped in le hospital bed. Yeah, I joined Kirk in that bed. Devoted wife? Or just didn't want to lay on the most uncomfortable couch ever? You be the judge.

We both had another night of horrible sleep with several wake ups during the night by nurses taking vitals. Probably slept for 4 hours as well.
Around 9am, we woke up and Kirk was feeling exponentially better and we BEGGED and pleaded with the nurses to get the doc so we could get some answers and get OUT of there.
We were finally able to talk to the doctor who told us that ultimately, they don't know an exact diagnosis of Kirk's ailments. He said that he has a pretty good guess that it was a flu-like virus that attacked his liver. THE WORST! That is why he was feeling so deathly.
We finally got out of there and headed home. Kirk was exceptionally happy to get some FOOD since he was on a clear food diet.
I, on the other hand was exceptionally happy to go home and REST. However, being the germaphobe that I am, I couldn't rest before disinfecting everything and doing laundry til the cows came home.
My work was awesome and let me take Monday AND today off work so we can recuperate and get back on our feet. I am SO glad this weekend is over and happy that Kirk did not die.
Such a crazy weekend and I am so grateful for everyone who offered their love and support and help these past few days.



PHEW!

March 9, 2012 - the story

I have been putting this post off for a little bit because there is just SO much to show and tell and it's a bit overwhelming!

But alas, the day has come and it is time to share.

The day before the wedding was quite eventful.

My best friends from far and wide traveled to California for the blessed event.

We got our nails done and grabbed a bite to eat before we headed to the venue for a little set up. 

My friends and sisters took the reigns when it came to about 90% of this. I literally sat there and didn't even know what I should be doing because they were all over it like white on rice.

They couldn't possibly know how grateful I am that they came. Oh, no idea.

They even put together the beautiful bridesmaids bouquets. 

After that, it was on to a little risky business with a dirty kitchen party for yours truly.

And to clarify, that doesn't mean to have dirty kitchen appliances. No, no. It means dirty as in RISQUE and kitchen as in I like kitchen things. No rhyme or reason other than I couldn't decide if wanted more lingerie or more kitchen stuff so the themes intertwined.

It was quite the party with some LOOOOVELY presents.

And against my better judgement, we spent too much time chatting it up and didn't go to bed until after midnight. This was before I took three separate trips back to my aunts house to pick up various items including my temple clothes.

The wedding day started out with me at the hairdresser's at 6am. Oh how tired I was. I remember thinking how stressed and overwhelmed I should feel especially in my tired mental state but, I was feeling quite calm and relaxed. Even the hair stylist commented on how I was her most chill bride ever. Imagine that!

Once I was finished, my good friend Katie Pwoatahhhh (now Neilson) picked me up and drove me to the temple. This was only after I had a minor melt down about my hair. (Chill bride has left the building.) I believe every bride is supposed to freak out about her hair. It's like some unwritten rule the gods made to keep everything balanced and even.

Katie was a very good friend that morning. Keeping me calm and bringing me a chick-fil-a breakfast and force feeding it down my throat. No, not really. It only took minor convincing for me to eat it. But, she was very concerned that I have something in my stomach.
Halfway to the temple, I realized I had forgotten my temple clothes. C'est la vie. 

We arrived at the temple on time and met up with Kirk and his family and half of the groomsmen. I handed out ties and put on Kirk's boutonniere. 

Then at noon, Kirk and I were sealed in the Oakland temple.

It was one of the most surreal and amazing moments of my life. WE WERE MARRIED.

Then it was off to the dressing room where not one, but THREE women slipped me into my CORSET and put on my dress. (In my humble opinion, I don't think I even needed that corset. But, I wore it anyway.)

Kirk and I stood together inside the temple waiting to walk out together. I remember feeling like I didn't care about anything at that moment. I was just so happy to be married to him.

Then my sister ran in with my bouquet and told us not to come out until she gave us the go ahead.

And then Kirk and I walked out together and were greeted with so many of our loved ones it was overwhelming!

Everyone looked amazing and I was pleasantly surprised at how many people showed up!

The rest of the temple part of the day was a blur. Everything happened very quickly and yet I felt very in the moment at the same time. Picture after picture after picture were taken and then finally Kirk and I were able to drive to the venue by ourselves.

We stopped at McDonald's on the way and got my diet coke (only they messed it up and gave me REGULAR. The nerve.)

The lady in the window was shocked to see a bride and groom go through the drive through and her reaction was HILARIOUS. As we were receiving our goods through the window, a group of hoodrats were walking in and spotted us and screamed, "OHHHH THEY JUST GOT MARRIED! PARTY AT THEIR PLACE! WOOO!!! OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH!"

We finally made it to the venue where I freshened up and borrowed Katie's lipstick and took some of my most FAVORITE pictures of the day in the vineyards. The lighting couldn't have been more perfect and ahh... it was just amazing.

We hung out a little bit and then it was time for the ring ceremony. The ring ceremony that I DID NOT plan. 2 minutes before it started, I lined up all the bridesmaids and groomsmen and had them walk out together. We had hired a band for the evening and someone forgot to tell them to start playing while everyone walked out, so it was just SILENT and may I say - AWKWARD. I was a little annoyed and then stopped and remembered, that it didn't matter and what's done is done. And then Kirk and I walked out together and I said "Sorry, there's supposed to be music!" (WHY DID I EVEN SPEAK!?)

The officiant of the ceremony also sealed Kirk and I in the temple. He is my uncle's dad and very good speaker. The ceremony was quick and he was funny and I remember laughing and laughing the whole time.

After the ceremony there was a little cocktail hour which only lasted about 30 minutes.

We filed into the barrel room and everything looked SO great. So many people helped out with the decorations and I was so happy and grateful to all of them for the way everything turned out. We received so many compliments on the decor - even the venue manager told us how he had never seen a wedding so beautiful. It made me feel so good considering all the stress and anxiety that went along with planning it all.

We enjoyed delicious steak and chicken and potatoes and grilled vegetables and salad and rolls while the band serenaded us with the music of love. Then it was time for the toasts. We had the best man (Chima), the maid of honor (Ani), my dad and, Kirk's dad each give 2-3 minute toasts. This made the evening even more special to have the people we love share their stories and emotions about Kirk and I and the day. 

Kirk and I had our first dance to "The Very Thought Of You" by Billie Holliday which the band sang and they did such a fabulous job. I hope someone recorded it.
I also had a dance with my dad. I think the song was "Wonderful World" but I can't remember. Ugh. I'm so bad. It was so fun and we had many tricks up our sleeves including a few dips and a few twirls. There really isn't even a great picture of us because we were just laughing and talking the whole time.

Then it was time for dancing. OH BOY was the dancing epic! It was so fun and we had such a good time breaking a little sweat and getting down on that dance floor. I would have to credit a lot of it to the amazing band we had. They played at my cousin's wedding and Kirk and I KNEW we had to have them at ours. They just bring a whole different vibe to the party and one that makes you not want to stop partying.

We also had a caricature artist come and draw our guests. It was a hit! Everyone loved it and loved getting their faces drawn. It was such a cool thing to have our guests take home and have from our wedding.

We also had a s'mores bar where guests could roast their own marshmallows and make their own s'mores. 

Not only that, but we also had some AMAZING cupcakes too. Chocolate Raspberry Cream, Strawberry Cheesecake, Vanilla Cream with Chocolate Ganashe frosting and Pear Bellini. Heaven.

Kirk and I cut our Vanilla cake with fresh strawberries and whipped cream filling. Kirk got frosting on my face which I specifically told him NOT to do but it was ok because the cake was amazingly delicious.

The night went on with sweets and dancing and drawing and then it was time for the send off.

The manager of the winery had an old fashioned car and told us we could use it to drive off in. The bridesmaids decorated it with cans and a sign and we ran down an aisle of sparklers held by our guests.
We were then driven to our destination for the night.
It was seriously the best day we could ever have hoped for! 

March 9, 2012 - Pictures

Whoa. I hate to be one of those bloggers that just posts a thousand and one pictures, but it's happening. There are so MANY pictures to choose from and here are just a few of my very favorites! I hope you enjoy!

checking in!

Hello everyone!

Just checking in to let you know that I have not forgotten about you.

In case you didn't know...

Kirk and I were MARRIED on March 9, 2012!

It was only the best day of our entire lives.

A full post on wedding, honeymoon, and married life thus far is coming.

For now, just enjoy this gem from our favorite day ever.

Invitations!

Oh man. These invitations are just the most awesome part of the wedding. 

Although it took quite some time to get them out (due to my inability to make ANY decisions), they turned out BETTER than I could have asked for!

Tessa is truly amazing and you should ask her to do your invitations too!

I am just so proud of these!

ahhh c'est l'amour

ok.
Just for a minute, can we talk about the fact that I am getting married less than 19 days to the man of my most fantastic dreams?
It is absolute craziness around these parts. Wedding planning in full-force with a thousand and one things to do each day. (That's what I get for being the world's best procrastinator. You might as well give my my trophy now.)
It's quite possible that between my phone shattering, changing venues last minute, and losing over $2,000 cash in a Subway, my brian chemistry has been only SLIGHTLY altered. (Maybe I had 20 million melt downs, maybe I didn't.) Let's just say that I have been struggling - to say the least.
Listen, I don't want you to get the wrong idea.
I am over the MOON to marry the Kirky Lirky.
And I LOVE to plan events and parties.
I'm not usually the one who these events and parties are for, so there is a little bit of awkwardness that takes over me when people ask me wedding questions.
For example, the florist:
Me: "Hi. Make me a bouquet."
Florist: "Ok. What do you want?"
Me: "Uhhh... I don't know, you're the florist."
Ok, so it didn't go EXACTLY like that, and the florist was actually way awesome.
However, it's difficult for me to tell people what I want because I don't really know what it is that I want from them. Just give me something pretty. Give me something delicious. Make it look good. That's all I ask. Then I realize, people are different, and what they think may look good to them may not look good to me. This, my friends is what I refer to as an epiphany.
Weird that other people think the things I like aren't pretty and cool and with that same token, there are people out there who like ugly things. Strange it is my friends, strange indeed.

Listen. I have been meaning to tell all sorts of tales of happiness and life changing moments during this wedding planning process. But, you know me, I am a realist (or as some people call it, a pessimist. Whatever.) And at the end of the day, all my thoughts go back to what I wasn't able to get done and why. So it's easy to see that all I want to do is curl up in my heated blanket and dream of dreams in the sandy, tropical beaches with my lover... who is also my friend.
What I want to tell you about is the part when Kirk and I went to get our marriage license and how Kirk refused to register to vote. So naturally, I wrote in big capital letters on a voter's registration form,
"KIRK ROY OUIMET IS A CONSPIRATOR AGAINST THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT! HE CANNOT BE TRUSTED!"
And found the nearest security camera to expose the truth while Kirk scrambled to destroy the evidence. (Which looks sketchy enough in my humble opinion.)
Or the part when Kirk and I were apartment hunting and every single place we looked at was a dump, and how we would take our time going through each room acting as if it were a mansion and later laughing about it over McFlurries and Diet Coke.
I mean, those are the moments that MATTER people!
So, this is what I reflect on when I do lose money in a sandwich shop, or when I shatter my phone. Or when the wedding day seems more overwhelming than anything else in the world. I gotta go back to my roots and remember why I am even PLANNING this wedding in the first place.
And that reason is love.

the one time a kid threw up during the opening prayer.

While Kirk and I were in Washington, we were able to stay at my near and dear friends house, the Beeson's!

OH how I have missed them so!

It was the first time I have seen their new house all finished and it was spectacular! We got to watch a lot of movies in their theater room, play a lot of RockBand and eat a ton of junk... Kirk and I felt very welcomed and probably gained 20 pounds due to our free refrigerator rights.
Kirk was also able to get everyone addicted to a few iPad/iPhone games... there was only minor competition going on.

We were able to spend some good, quality time with their entire family whom I practically grew up with. It felt like home. 

I also went to my old ward, and even though it has changed quite a bit since I have last visited, there were still a few friendly faces have missed dearly.

We also were able to go to the stake's Christmas Devotional.

Kirk and I were pretty tired from the wedding the night before and debated whether we should go or not.

But I am OH SO GLAD WE DID.

You see, probably one of the most epic barfing stories of my life took place that night.

And so the story goes...

Kirk and I walked in just before the opening prayer was about to start.

We took a seat in the back row right next to the aisle.

Right when the prayer started, we heard a very strange yet recognizable sound followed by a huge commotion about 5 row in front of us. 

Obviously a child got sick...

As the prayer is still taking place, the parents of the sick child start to run down the aisle with their him in  their arms and the mother is holding the kids mouth...

All of a sudden the kid just let's it all out and throws up EVERYWHERE and since the mom had her hand over his mouth, the vomit sprayed in all sorts of different directions splashing a few people along the way.

Let me remind you, the prayer is still going.

Kirk and I are OBVIOUSLY not feeling the reverence nor the spirit at this time... We just stared in complete shock asking ourselves, "Is this REALLY happening right now?"

After the kid exits the room, still throwing up everywhere, people start to run out of the room too.

One girl in particular, who probably got some vomit on her long coat, tried to run out of the room only to slip and fall into the vomit and kept sliding around trying to get up. Like a fly stuck in a spider's web.

Mind you, the prayer... is STILL going.

Someone helped the girl up and they both walked out together. Oh the kindhearted. I just couldn't help her, I don't DO vomit.

Anyway, when the prayer was finally over, a rally of people got up and started cleaning up the pukey mess. I felt very grateful for people like that since I would probably NEVER be one of those people. 

Bailey Beeson came over and asked us if we wanted to come sit with her family on the other side of the room. Once we sat down, Bailey's dad asked, "Did something happen over there?"

OH... how much you missed!

And although Kirk and I were sitting RIGHT in the middle of the action, we managed to walk away from the scene unscathed by the projectile vomit. Lucky.

Moving on with our trip.

On Monday, Kirk went to visit one of his friends in Seattle while Brandi and her son, Cade come to the Beeson household to play.
I was so excited to see Brandi because I haven't seen her since she told me she was pregnant! And now she is in her 2nd trimester and showing and I LOVE it. I even got to feel Miss Litchfield move around inside that belly. 

We made caramel corn and enchiladas and watched movies.

That night, we went to Snowflake Lane in Bellevue with their family.

We stayed up late that night watching more movies and sneaking in a midnight snack, then a 1am snack and so on and so forth... 

Sadly, we had to leave the Beeson home the next day to head to Portland to my aunt's house for Christmas... more on that to come. :)