Thursday, July 29, 2010

this is my life.

Well, most of you probably know what is happening in my life as of late.
As if my life hasn't been a huge roller coaster of crazy stories, sucky boyfriends and 2 divorces, another doosy has been placed in my family's tracks.
My mom has recently been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease.
We noticed a few questionable things that are not the way my mom would normally act. Whether is was leaving the gas pump in the car while driving away (3 times) to not being able to understand step by step directions to not remembering her schedules.
This summer has been the summer of massive changes and emotional chaos.
Ani went to Washington for the month of May to help out and organize things in the house.
The next month, I went out there to do the same. We both noticed a tremendous amount of distance she had with reality and relationships and it became very clear to our family that something needed to be done.
We decided to move my mom closer to her family in Northern California to live with her brother and sister-in-law. This is an amazing blessing for her and our family. To have someone able to take care of her and who is close to her as well.
For my little sisters, this meant that they will be moving to Oregon to live with their dad.
It was a very devastating and hard decision. Nobody wants to break up a family especially after having been broken up time and time before. But it was also very clear to us that this is the best thing we could do given this awful circumstance we were in.
This last week, Ani, Kirk and myself made the trek back to Washington where we had to move my mom's things to various locations. We got in at 2am on Friday night, and then were woken up at 7:30am to get ready for the people to help us move at 8am. Ani and I were the only ones there that had a say as to where things would be going and the overwhelming sensation came over us as so many people were trying to help but we had nothing for them to help us with. It was too fast for us and we were not ready. One of the women from our ward came to us and asked us specifically what we would like to have them do. I politely asked if they could leave just so we could get our bearings and go through a few things before everything was boxed up and maybe never seen again.
Everyone was so incredibly kind and left us alone for a few hours where Ani and I still had no idea where to even begin. Years and years of memories, pictures, jewelry, clothing, kitchenware, furniture had been in my mom's possession and we barely got to skim the surface. Everything had a meaning and purpose to us and it was so hard for us to be able to decide what we wanted to take and what was going elsewhere. My friend Brandi showed up while Ani and I were in the midst of having a meltdown and walked in while we were literally trying on all of my mom's jewelry. We laughed and said, we are losing our minds and have no idea where to even begin. Thank goodness for Brandi. She was so helpful and we got the ball rolling on decision-making. (Something I have always been so slow at doing.) When everyone returned at 1pm, we had a system and we were able to pack the cars and finish by 3pm.
We were exhausted.
A family from the ward invited our entire family out to dinner that night just so we could relax and get some air conditioning and not have to worry about food. It was a fun night considering all of the things we had to deal with that day and we were so glad that the Sweetwood's were so generous to us.
We had a few air mattresses that were donated from my step-dad, where Julia, Natalia, Ani and myself slept that night. We wanted to watch a movie so we started it and fell asleep 10 minutes after it began.
I felt bad because my little sisters wanted to hang out with Ani and I but, we had to focus on getting the house moved and cleaned up and it was so hard to be able to spend quality time with them. We did, however, get them cell phone covers and Chipotle so, it's not terrible.
The next few days were spent cleaning the place and making sure everything was taken care of. We slept on the floor even though we had numerous offers to sleep at other people's houses (and we probably should have taken them up on those...) And we headed our way back to Utah with 2 cars this time and both full to the brim.
Now we are back in Utah with two full cars or as I like to refer to them as, our mobile storage units where everything will be staying until we move into our new condo next week.
Everyone has been so kind and helpful. My work has allowed me to take an incredible amount of time off and Ani's work has also done the same. I am very thankful that Kirk has been so helpful and has come to Washington both times to help me out and keep me sane. Even though the level of my sanity is completely debatable. I am also really grateful for my friends and everyone who has been there to support me and my family. I can't believe how much people have been willing to help and take the reins when needed. My mom has such amazing friends and family that love her and it is so obvious to me that she is an amazing person.
Even though my life has dramatically changed recently, I do know that things do happen for a reason, and whether or not I know that reason now doesn't matter. I have faith that it will all make sense someday.

Monday, July 19, 2010

the great 23.

Well I did it.
I lived to see the age of 23. My life is complete.
This year my birthday was spread out over the course of a few days.
My actual birthday was spent partially on a boat in Lake Powell (hey, no complaints here!) And partially in transit back to Provo. I did receive lots of love and text messages that day and they were greatly greatly appreciated. I kind of forgot it was my birthday that day... :)
We decided to go out to dinner for mine and my little sister, Julia's birthday who was turning 14 only 5 days later. So off to Cheesecake Factory we went where we stuffed our faces with too many cheesecakes and gave Julia the best present ever: LOVE.
Just kidding. Bare Minerals MAKEUP! HELLO!
The next day, Kirk and Ani were scheming something together. I only knew this because they failed at trying to keep it a secret. I caught them texting each other while in the car with me about 10 times. But, when Kirk and I came home from dinner, I found a bouquet of balloons and presents and a mint chocolate chip ice cream cake AND a hula-hoop. (Reference picture above.)
I don't really know the meaning behind the hula-hoop but I enjoyed it.
22: You treated me pretty well. I am sad to see you go. Really, I am.
23: You better not let me down. I have big plans for you. Don't you turn into 24 until I am finished with you.

Friday, July 16, 2010


Do not be offended by my title.
(And no, I will not have any sort of visual art for this post. Lo siento.)
Alls I want to say is I wish I could go back in time and take back that wish I made upon a star when I said, "I wish I would have boobs."
I was not such a wise 11-year old.

(well if we are wishing to go back in time, i probably would redo a few other things, but that is beside the point.)

In other news,
Here is an update on my freaking busy, crazy, emotional summer to-date. So much has happened and as much as I would enjoy making individual blog posts about everything, it would simply take wayyyy too much time. Let's be practical here, shall we?

-Just got back from Lake Powell for the FIRST time and I have to say that I LOVED IT! Everyone should go at least once in their lives. It is amazing. I have never seen anything like it and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat! Except maybe apply a little more sunscreen.
-Speaking of sunscreen, I totes fried my shoulders. Don't really know how that happened considering I applied the SPF 50 every 2 hours. (I want my skin to be YOUTHFUL) I guess I should have warmed up to some sun exposure before the trip.
-I have decided I need to do more fun outdoor things. I wish I had a bike to ride around and rock climbing gear. I want to be like that. On the trip I realized how old? out of shape? not fun? I am.
-I turned 23. What the WHAT? Let me tell you a little secret: When I was younger, I did not think this would be my life by 23. But, I also have to say that I am not really complaining a TON.
-My little sisters and madre came to Utah for a visit for 10 days. They go back home tomorrow and I miss them already. It was a tough goodbye. I didn't want them to leave.
-Ani and I found an AMAZE-balls apartment. (I heard someone say "amaze-balls" once and I thought it was hilarious so now I am saying it.) 2 bed, 2 bath and it will just be the two of us. Even though roommates are, I am excited to see what it would be like with just Ani and I. We may kill each other. I do not know for sure.
-I had an epiphany concerning me. (Yes, yes so selfish.) Well, since growing up is something that cannot be avoided, I think I always thought I had to act like an adult. I mean, I am an adult but being an adult means I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! So, if I want to title my blog post "boobs" I am going to. And if I want to say "amaze-balls" then so be it. Who do I have to answer to but myself and my own conscience. It is currently 3:24 am and I still have no real intentions to go to sleep. And every intention of sleeping until I feel the need to wake up tomorrow. Because I am an adult and I can do whatever I want.
-I swear I'm responsible when needed.
-I am digging being tan. I should keep up with that.
-I am going back to Washington later this month to move my mom's things to California. Like I said, summer-of-too-much.
-Still wanting and planning on going to South Carolina to see Mindy. REALLY REALLY want to.
-I have taken up reading. A pass time I have overlooked in recent years. I am bringing it back into my life and I would like some recommendations. If any would like to tell me of some recent gems they have happened upon, do tell. It would be much appreciated.
-I am taking vitamin D. A supplement that is known to have some skin healing properties.
-I miss my best friends. You know who you are.
-My cable doesn't currently work in my room and I am going a little crazy. I need it at night. It's my comfort blanket.
-I found my seal that I used to sleep with since I was a baby. Of course it looks like some sort of rabid animal got to it and chewed half its face off. I still love it and it too calms my anxiety.
-Yes I am 23 and still enjoy my baby toy. Shut it.
New favorite song:
"Love the Way You Lie" Eminem Feat. Rihanna
I can't find the clean version of the song on youtube so I will not post it. But, it's bomb. I even kind of like the angry Eminem rap. Kinda.


Thursday, July 1, 2010

despicable me.

These days I am in total need of comedic relief.
I want to see this movie.
So I can laugh all the livelong day.