Thanks Ramon... Thanks.

No, I am NOT pregnant.
I am only SLIGHTLY offended.
Last summer I bought this charcoal/brownish shirt from Banana Republic. I fell absolutely in love with it because it accented all of my favorite features while hiding my least favorites (namely, my stomach.) I went on this huge shopping craze last summer and consuming most of my money was Banana Republic. Actually, that really doesn't relate to the story at all.
ANYWAY, I decided to wear this shirt to work today with black pants and a pair of black flat shoes. I thought I looked pretty dang good... If I do say so myself. The shirt however, hugs my chest region while kind of bubbling around my stomach. I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE!
Then, it happened. I was walking around down by the sales area at work and a salesman, RAMON, spanish young man, asked me if I was pregnant. WHAT.
Ok, FIRST of all, I'm not even MARRIED... which apparently doesn't really matter to ANYONE these days... all these celebrites having the baby first and then getting married. Or even excusing the whole marriage option altogether. HOWEVER, I am not like that. As much as I wish I could be famous, I'm not. And therefore, do not follow the crowds of Hollywood.
Maybe, I thought, there was some sort of language barrier that affected the outcome of his question... Either way, SOMETHING provoked this.
"No, I am NOT pregnant. " I told Ramon.
"But, thanks for noticing my really cute shirt."
Ramon replied, "No, I mean, I don't think you're fat. You are just really blessed with that area..." (pointing to his own chest.)
"HAHAHA! Thanks Ramon... now go sell a car or something."

I am never wearing this shirt again. Unless I am 20 pounds lighter and can NEVER NEVER EVER be confused for pregnant.

Does anyone want a new shirt?