my thoughts. again.

Hi.

Again, I have so much to do,

So much to update on,

and SO many thoughts.

OF course.

OF COURSE I am distracted by my own thoughts to actually get ANYTHING done with my day.

I have a few more last minute things I need to get done at UVU.
I have to say that I am more than excited to go back to school but I just gotta get this out:

They do not make it easy... I am sick of running to campus and turning in paperwork,

I am so sick of waiting for an email to tell me I got into the class I NEED.

I am so sick of worrying about how I am going to pay for RENT and my CELL PHONE and my CAR INSURANCE... let alone food and other such necessities.

Why is growing up so hard.
I guess I wouldn't be complaining so much if I had finished school when I should have. If I stayed in school for the last couple of years, I would be done and would have a grown up job... and maybe not so stressed out about my billz.

However, I do feel like I needed that time off. I needed to grow up a little bit. Understand how important my education is. Be there for my family, get that life experience under my belt. I don't know why, but I just needed that. It gave me the motivation to do what I want to do and not what other's want me to do.

My room is a disaster zone. Actually my house is. I finally cleaned the kitchen yesterday. It was time. And now I have half finished projects, copies of my resume, thank you cards, spray paint and glitter, gifts, tissue paper and ribbons strewn about my work space. And quite honestly, I am feeling quite unmotivated to clean it up.

When there is disorder in my life, you can see it on my desk. It's just what happens.

Oh and to make things worse, I am breaking out.

Gotta love my skin. Very strange, I was totally stressed out and overwhelmed while in California this break, but for some reason, my skin did not show signs of my stress.

I guess I should probably stop complaining.

I have actually been told TWICE this break that I am negative.

Lame. I didn't think that I would be that person. I used to think I was a somewhat positive person. Life has been getting the best of me, and I shouldn't let it change me for the worst.

So this year, my resolution is this:

To be more positive.

And to simplify.

And this my friends is what I plan to resolve this year.

2011, be good to me. I need it.