I just wanted to thank everyone so much for the supportive and kind comments, emails, texts and phone calls. I know I have some good friends and people who really care and love me and my family. I seriously feel so loved and am surprised at how many people who have offered their help with wedding planning. I am overwhelmed. In a good way.

Ani and I are planning a small trip to California sometime to pick out a venue and hopefully meet with a few caterers and flower people. I think once I pick a place, everything else will probably be easier to choose.

I just have so many ideas but I'm not really sure how to

A: Execute them.

B: Pick the ones that I like best...

If you look at my PINTEREST you can see that I have gone a little hog wild with the wedding category. (I love pinterest... I spend a lot of time there. Don't judge.)

In other news, I have found another new obsession.

Instagram.

If you have an iPhone, I highly recommend this app. I'm not sure if it's available for other smart phones but I am seriously in love with it and want more friends to follow so download it! I love it!

The last thing I have been up to is moving Kirk into his new apartment. Which will ultimately be OUR apartment when we get married. Kirk didn't have a single thing for a place so we had to do quite some shopping for furniture, kitchen stuff and a bed! We got a lot of things from Ikea and I don't know if any of you have gotten anything from there, but you have to put together EVERYTHING by yourself.

I'm not joking when I say we spent a whole 4 days putting things together. I am so SICK of building. HAHA! But we finally finished last night and everything looks great! The last thing the place needs is a woman's touch. That's where I come in. I can't wait to decorate it all and make it beautiful. Right now, it just looks like a bachelor's pad. Boys don't decorate. And in Kirk's mind, everything has to be black, white or grey. Soon it will be time to add color and I am dying!

I also want to get some highlights and I am loving Minka's color. Anyone know of a good colorist around here... that doesn't take months to get in?

this is going to be sad.

Tonight I am feeling very overwhelmed.

This is the first time since being engaged that the hype of it all has kind of settled and I am now faced with this seemingly exciting task of planning a wedding.

I am excited to get married and be with my one and only, don't get me wrong.

I am just feeling sad that I will be planning this wedding without my mom.

I know she is physically here on earth, but the mom I knew isn't.

There are still moments when she is here. We see glimpses of it and it's like nothing has ever changed.

I miss that.

It's hard for me to think about let alone talk about it.

People ask, How's your mom?

And all I can really do is smile and say, She's doing well.

That's all I want to say. Because every thing else is too hard to talk about.

I will just start to cry.

There are times when that's all I want to do. Sometimes I think I don't remember what she was like. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who she was and people have to remind me.

And I hate it.

Sometimes I wish I could call her and have a conversation. I wish she could take over during moments like these. She was good at that. She always knew when I was feeling overwhelmed and was there to help.

Sometimes I feel sad for her. I know it's frustrating for her. Sometimes I wish I knew what she was thinking. And sometimes I can't go there.

Everyday I wish I could take back all the fights I had with her. I was such a bratty teenager. I wish I never said anything negative to her. I wish I let her know how much I appreciate her and how much I love her.

People expect me to have it all together. To go to school. To move on with my life. Which I am trying to do. But, there are moments, moments like these when I don't want to. Because I don't want her to miss out on all the things she was looking forward to.

Graduation.

My wedding.
Her first grandchild.

I just miss her.

I know God has a plan for everyone.

I just hope that someday I will be able to find peace and understanding through it all.

I mean, I know I will someday.

and he's all mine.

It seems as though I have stirred up quite the controversy with my last blog post.

I must ensure and inform you all that no date has been set however, it looks like March is "WINNING." As Charlie Sheen would so aptly say.

I would like to mention a few important things about the impending marriage between Kirk-master-five-thousand and myself.

Well, it's more like a few reasons why Kirk can be categorized as "soul mate" material in my eyes.

Kirk allows me to call him all sorts of nicknames and if you are close enough to us, you will be able to experience the generational nicknaming that happens if you have grown up in my household.

I, for example am named Alexandra. However, if you call me that, most likely I will not answer. Alix is most preferred.

My little sisters are BeBe and Dolly. Nicknames that don't have much to do with their real names.

And don't even get me started on Ani's name.

Kirk let's me call him all sorts of things. And doesn't blink an eye. Literally, he just stares in disbelief: "Did you really just call me juicy-cakes?"

"Why, yes I did."

Another reason why Kirk is awesome. He's a master of electronics or more specifically, computers. Don't let my blog fool you, he is quite the web designer/entrepreneur/developer. I can't tell you how many times he has fixed or hooked my family up with some sweet software. He knows things we mere humans do not.

I enjoy cooking and Kirk enjoys eating. Yin and Yang people. Yin and Yang.

Kirk also is a goofball to the extreme. Although he may not be so outward with it around people, he is with me and I can seriously laugh until I pee my pants (talk about awkward.) He does these very interesting dance moves and facial expressions that I wonder sometimes, why we are even together. But, it's ok because sometimes I do things that are quite unattractive with my face and the feelings become mutual.

Kirk is an optimist. And I say this with the most extreme sense of the word. I consider myself to be a skeptic and a realist. Some may even refer to me as a pessimist. Whatever. But, Kirk's mantra is

"Life will find a way."

And for him, it always does. And sometimes it makes me jealous of his optimistical ways. But mostly, he makes me think positively even when life sucks. And I am grateful for that.

Kirk is a scientist. This is a blessing and a curse. He never wants to follow recipes or sometimes the rules. It can drive a lady crazy. I can remember the time Kirk thought it would be the best idea ever to mix real pureed strawberries into Diet Coke. It wasn't a good idea. He loves to create experiments and discover new things. I love this about him because we love to do this together. We are curious creatures and enjoy adventures.

Kirk and I can talk for HOURS. We love conversing with each other and telling each other the strange things we encounter each day. Trust me, there is always something to tell.

Lastly, Kirk is my best friend. He knows exactly what to do to turn my frown upside down.

Am I making everyone here jealous?

Well back off ladies... Because he's all mine.

they're magically delicious

Welp, as it turns out, I was getting quite bored of blogging the NYC trip. And let's be honest here, I'm sure you were all too. So the break from the recount of NYC has been extended.

Don't act surprised, ok?

It's not like you have really seen me finish or follow-through with much. I mean, how many times have I said I'm going to give this blog a makeover? And how many times have I said I'm going to buckle down and get into shape? And how many times have I said I'm going to do this, that and the other thing, and have not done it?

My point is simply this: I acknowledge my shortcomings and have little to no desire to really change them. I'm getting married. All my personality flaws are no longer flaws but are endearing quirks that my fiancee just loves. That's how it works, you know. Anyone will tell you that.

For any other engagement or marriage advice, you know where to find me.

Wedding planning is moving at the rate of a tortoise race. For some reason, Kirk and I are not keen on making any sort of decisions and this my friends, is why you have not received a "Save-The-Date" or heard any news on the matter.

The following is a conversation Kirk and I had on picking a wedding date.

Kirk: You chose a date, and we'll stick to it.

Me: March 17, 2012

Kirk: No, St. Patrick's day should be left for St. Patrick. Not for us. We can't share a holiday with a leprechaun. What about all of the parties we won't be able to go to because it's our anniversary?

Me: Listen, when have you ever gone to a St. Patrick's day party? And think about it: it's the best excuse in the world to say you can't go - it will be our anniversary!

Kirk: I am just not a fan...

Me: I am. And we can even put a cheeky pot of gold somewhere at our reception in honor of the holiday. It's totally good luck. AND... who doesn't want to be lucky on their wedding?

Clearly we are on the right path to choosing a date AND a theme for decorations. I brought all my best arguments to the table and we still couldn't agree.

I will tell you that planning a wedding, at least in my eyes, is not my favorite pass time. I will leave those duties to wedding planners. However, finding a place for Kirk to live (and me to move into later on) is proving to be quite exciting. Much more fun than deciding if we should hire the town leprechaun to host our beloved event and if we should serve Lucky Charms as the main course.

If you, or someone you know, has amazing taste and loves to plan weddings, please contact me. I just don't even know what to do with myself and my indecisive fiancee.

Bridesmaid dresses anyone?

one proud fiance

I have decided to take a little break from my lovely recount of the NYC trip and talk about something else.

Please put your hands together for this man:

(He will be so happy I posted this picture.)

And his fellow teammates:

Garrett Gee

and

Ben Turley.

They have made this fantabulous iPhone app that scans these little things called QR Codes.

They look like this:

Now that you have seen this pic, you will see them EVERYWHERE!

Yesterday as I was checking the daily stats on their app, I saw that they were placed

#10

Out of 400,000+ apps in the app store!

Talk about AWESOME!!! They were above FACEBOOK!

Let's just say that the future for these guys is looking pretty bright and I couldn't be more proud!

More news to come on their business!

Congratulotions you guys!

(Yes, congratulOtions.)