So, I can't sleep. What else is new? My mind has just been going a million miles an hour and so I went back in time to read some of my old blog posts. I was such a dork. It's kind of like going back and reading some old journal entries. I love the ones when I was in 6th grade and had a crush on so and so and thought he hated me... but then he gave me a high-five so maybe he liked me. They really were the things to worry about back then. Oh to be a kid again. Nothing really to worry about. Nothing big at least. No one warns you about the suckiness of growing up. Growing up is awesome. But, responsibility is not. Plain and simple. I have zero shame in admitting that. And you shouldn't either. Let's make a club. The "I-HATE-RESPONSIBILITY-CLUB" where only the elite may join and you have to somehow figure out a way to pay all of your bills and buy that way cute Coach purse without working full-time... and prostitution DOES NOT count.

Anyway, I was talking about going back in time and reading old journals. I always used to write the songs I liked at the moment when writing in my journal, or my favorite outfit, or food etc. I would look back and think, OH YEAH! I do remember that! Or, why did I ever like that? Well, I found this little tag I did 3 years ago and I am re-filling it out again.

Want to read the old one?

Enjoy.

8 Favorite Shows:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Brothers & Sisters

3. 30 Rock

4. Real Housewives of New Jersey AND New York
5. Gossip Girl
6. Keeping Up With The Kardashians
7. Chelsea Lately
8. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Ate Steak... TWICE.
2. Went to Target. Played with a bouncy ball... almost purchased it but, did not.
3. Played with kittens.
4. Wrapped 1 out of a billion presents that need to be wrapped.
5. Slapped Ani's butt and Ani got mad.
6. Ate TOO much chocolate.
7. Pretend to be a flying squirrel.
8. Attend my cuz's bridal shower. Did not win toilet-paper wedding dress game. I'm a sore loser. Whatever.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

1. Seeing Kirk in 4 days!

2. Christmas!
3. Summer. I know I say it a lot, but I am in SERIOUS need of a VACATION.
4. Saving the dolphins.
5. Going back to school, like a stay at home mother...
6. Babies. Someday... someday.
7. Having a ginormous house where everyone comes over.
8. When I have a grown-up job.

8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Carrabbas. Still a favorite.
2. Acapulco FRESH -- Sadly it's gone forever and I am actually not sad about it, I'm pissed.
3. Guru's
4. Cafe Rio
5. In-N-Out
6. Chick-fil-A
7. Cafe Trio
8. Thai Ginger

8 Things On My Wish List:
(I'm really not so vain...)
1. A new NORTHFACE jacket (this was on last year, and I still want one... a white one.)
2. A new pair of EXPENSIVE jeans... ok like 10 new pairs. (Yup, still want this as well.)
3. Get married. Yeah, I said it.
4. iPhone4.
5. A vacation with my family.
6. A HOUSE! (still want this too.)
7. Everything I see when I go shopping. What... you know you want it too.
8. Wow... I guess I only want 7 things. I guess I'm not as vain as I thought.

And now I will be able to look back and remember what I liked on December 23, 2010.

Ohhh... New Years is just around the corner!

look what i made.

So I was walking through one of my favorite little boutiques, Soel, at Riverwoods (which has gotten a very awesome face lift) and they had these REALLY awesome sparkly, vintagey, rustic, paper, Christmas trees.

I asked them how to make them and then I immediately went home to make my own.

Here is the result:

I am very proud of my craft.

I actually made 4. And they all look different but this one photographed the best so it is the one that is on this blog.

Want to make your own?

Go to MarthaStewart.com

Click HERE for the directions.

randomness upon randomness.

Hey all.

I don't know why, but I always feel the need to greet all you lovely readers out there before starting my posts. I like it, I hope you do to.

It is 2:04 in the AM and for the first time in weeks, I am ACTUALLY tired. Weird? Yes. Mostly because I have the sleeping habits of most nocturnal creatures namely: owls, wolfs and wombats (yes, I did just google "list of nocturnal creatures" to get those animals... did you know cats are nocturnal? Add that to the list of reasons why I like cats so much. I'm a cat lady, sue me.) and I have been going to sleep between the hours of 3 and 5 am. I know, scold all you want people. I am aware of how awful that sleep pattern is. And I know I'm going to have a rude awakening once school starts in January. I know, I know, I know. And, while I'm being honest, I would just like to say that I also don't really enjoy people telling me that they think I'm lazy or scoff when I say I just woke up at noon. I KNOW they're just jealous. And, when there is nothing to wake up for, what is the point? Right.

Moving forward.

I have had quite the productive day.

I managed to get all of my Christmas shopping DONE.

And I have started my to-do list for my little Shadey Lady Party 2010.

I have an artichoke dip in the fridge just ready to be baked tomorrow.

I have made a few decorations. More on that to come. I found the AWESOMEST idea. Thank you Martha Stewart.

I have gone through some of my mother's Christmas ornaments. I am supposed to do something with them? But, there are boxes and boxes and I can't really part with them but on the flip side, I have absolutely no use for them. And probably never will. I will probably keep a few for memory's sake.

So tonight, I was STARVING and I looked through my fridge to find the following things:

a lemon

a zucchini

a serving of pasta

a chicken tender

I put my culinary talents together and whipped myself up some lemon, chicken, zucchini pasta with minced garlic and let me tell you something, it was DIVINE. I am pretty proud of myself and I will be making it again. Everyone was jealous of my food. And it was the easiest thing ever. I recommend making it.

We are driving to NorCal (that's what I call it now) on Sunday and apparently the weather is supposed to be "iffy". This my friends, is why I prefer NOT to drive ANYWHERE during the Christmas season. It is exactly why Ani and I have been driving home for Thanksgiving and FLYING for Christmas for the last 5 years. But I guess Californian's don't believe in snow. Or maybe it has something to do with us waiting too long to buy plane tickets THUS the prices have gone drastically up... hence the 12 hour car ride through Reno. Ahhh Reno, the land of beauty and wonder.

Sorry there aren't any recent photos to post... but there will be.

However, I found this gem of a gem.

Enjoy.

Yes, this scantily clad girl happens to be yours truly and I remember that horse. His name was Blacky and he was my best friend. I played on him on the daily.

Oh, and this is a picture my little sister, Julia (or Dolly as some of you know her as) drew when she was 4. Notice what she said it was... a whale. She always drew the best pictures.

Goodnight to all.

lights at the temple.

I really wanted to see the lights at Temple Square this year.

I've been in Utah for 3 years and have never seen the Christmas lights and I decided that 2010 was the year!

So last week, Kirk and I ventured up to Salt Lake City and began our adventure at Gourmandise Bakery in Salt Lake for dinner. The dinner wasn't exactly amazing however, the baked desserts were beyond delicious and certainly above par.

We then headed our way to Temple Square and took about 20 minutes to find parking. It was a Tuesday night and I thought it wouldn't be too crowded but I was so wrong. I guess it was youth activity night and about EVERY single ward/stake from Utah County were there. Cool. It was so crowded! But, it was still fun and we managed to get about 15 different youth to take pictures of us.

The experience made me really want a sweet sauce camera and have mad picture taking skills and about 10 minutes into the evening my camera battery died but luckily we had Kirk's iPhone so all was not lost.

Here are some gems from our magical evening!

Christmas time is here.

Feel the magic.

Happy Holidays!

hahaha.

Woke up this morning with a link to this in my email.

He's pretty funny.

Enjoy.

dreams are weird.

Do you ever have dreams about people who you thought you would never dream about?

If you do, do you all of a sudden think you have this close bond with that person after you wake up?

This happens to me sometimes and it happened last night.

It's so weird.

I had a dream about someone who I thought I would never dream about and it made me feel so weird. I felt like I needed to have a conversation with that person and have some sort of relationship with them.

I feel like I know more about them than anyone else.

And that we are best friends.

Sometimes when I have these dreams, I dream about someone I used to know or sort of know so if I ever do talk to them or see them, I think I really am friends with them.

It messes me up!

Have you ever woken up from a dream happy because your dream felt so real and it was an amazing dream?

Or how about waking up in a horrible mood because someone ruined your life?

And then you carry around all of these negative feelings towards that person and you end up hating someone you shouldn't?

One time, I had a dream that I was Sabrina the Teenage Witch and I woke up thinking I still had magical powers but to my surprise, I had normal human powers. Which didn't thrill me. I was so mad.

Another time I had a dream that I had a love affair with Brad Pitt and it was A-MAZING. Imagine my disenchantment when I woke up only to realize he didn't even know who I was... But, I felt like I knew him!

Or how about flying dreams? I have had a few of those. I had to concentrate really hard on flying and then I could do it. But the moment that I thought of something else, I would fall.

Or how about the terrifying dreams when you can't run or scream? I ALWAYS have those kinds of dreams. I can't scream loud enough or run fast enough. It's the worst feeling.

The point of all this is to say that dreams are awesome. I love having dreams and waking up remembering them. It's like entertainment for the bored, sleeping mind.

Sometimes you wake up relieved that it was only just a dream, and sometimes you wake up disappointed that it wasn't real.

Today, I woke up sad that it wasn't real.

So weird how dreams affect us so much.

blah.

Let me recap the last 13 hours for you.

In a nutshell:

Come home from Kirk's at about 1am.

Get ready for bed and slip under covers around 2am.

Quickly go over to-do list for next day:

Go to DMV

Fill out FAFSA

Drop off paperwork at UVU

Christmas lights at Temple Square

Toss and turn until about 4am.

Take melatonin (bring on the headaches and morning grogginess) and pop in a movie.

Toss and turn some more.

Finally drift off to dreamland around 6am.

Wake up at 1pm angry that I couldn't fall asleep, and now I slept half of the day away. Worst feeling ever.

Blog about it.

And that was how I spent the last 13 hours. I could have driven to Washington. Shame.

And now I feel like this:

BAHAHAHA!

OH and please enjoy this Christmas song brought to you by Coldplay. I am in love.

my grown-up christmas list.

I know it's not very grown-up of me to have such a vain and materialistic list.

But hey, it's hard to get someone a college degree or a kitten (cough KIRK cough).

So I am resulting to THINGS.

Sue me. We all want stuff, don't lie.

Let us begin.

The Jessica Simpson animal print flat. J'adore this.

I had some gold flats from a shopping trip in Park City over a year ago and now those shoes are sadly worn to their bitter death. These will have to do. I really do enjoy them. Steve Madden metallic flats.

I have been wanting a pair of black boots and a pair of hunter rain boots. Why not combine the two and enjoy a wondrous marriage? Hunter Boots in High Gloss Black.

This stuff is a miracle. Found at Bath and Body Works, it is the ONLY kind of hand lotion that makes my hands feel moisturized all day and smells like fresh oranges. Delicious.

I have been having issues with my car having an odd scent due to some spilled spices and I finally decided to clip one of those portable scents things in my car. Works like a charm. Now I just need some good smelling scents! Please refill!

Old Navy has some pretty cute and trendy jewelry these days. I love the embellishment of the flower and the simplicity of the ribbon! Found HERE.

and a multi-chain beaded necklace! Found HERE.

I have been wanting a new watch for MONTHS. I can't resist this MARC by Marc Jacobs gold watch. I am drooling.

This ruffle coat makes me feel so happy and I LOVE the cream color. Classy yet, flirty.

Oh, and a new hairdryer. Preferably a Conair Infiniti found at Target. Then, I won't have to share with my sister anymore. Yes, we STILL share a hairdryer.

These and a partridge in a pear tree por favor?

No?

it's all about motivation.

Bonjour lovely readers.

Are you still there? ok. good.

Just a quick little update.

Getting closer and closer to January 5, 2011 - First day of school in 2 years. I could honestly say I am nervous. It's ok. I'm comfortable with that...

I decided to get my associates in the Fine Arts and then use it to transfer to the Utah State and get my Interior Design Degree. We will see if I decide to stick to it or if I change it up... With this plan, I will be in school for MUCH longer than I thought I would be but, I will be doing something that I enjoy. (Hopefully.) The only reason why I would "change it up" is because I don't know if I will stay motivated long enough to be in school that long. Maybe I want to do something that will be quicker and easier. But, whoever said the road to happiness was quick and easy?

The other day Kirk and I went on an adventure... to BYU campus. We like to venture far and wide.

But, he really wanted to take a picture next to this fountain by the Joseph Smith Building? I don't remember the name of it. Go me.

(Oh, and we needed to document our trip to Carrabba's... because we don't have enough evidence of our obsession located mostly around our midsections.)

I am getting really bad at taking pictures lately. Mostly because I HATE being in pictures. I really don't like being in front of the camera because I just don't really like the way most pictures of me turn out. I gotta get over that I suppose. I found my external hard drive I used my freshman year of college at BYU-Idaho (ahhh memories) and I was SUCH a ham. Who is that person? I found some pretty funny pictures and I literally LOL'd. Heather - do you remember a little photoshoot we had? haha I can't post those pictures. Too embarrassing. Too incriminating.

Anyway, I was looking for my old music that I used to have, and I found it! Who is ecstatic about this? ME! And now I can listen to Celine Dion and Josh Groban in peace. Oh, and Coldplay. Oh I just love Coldplay. I desperately want to go to a Coldplay concert. I would be in heaven. Someday people, someday.

I have also been getting really bad at getting ready in the morning. Since I don't have any plans during the morning hours, I generally don't get ready until about 2 or 3pm. Who am I and when did I get so lazy? You ask? Well, I am Alix. And there is no reason for my lack of motivation in the mornings. Lo siento.

gwyneth.

I love Gwyneth Paltrow.

I think she just oozes class.

She has a website called GOOP and I am a subscriba!

It has a plethora of Ms. Gwyneth's insights about balancing life, food, travel and shopping - among other things. I really loved her article on sugar addiction. I even sent it to Kirk. haha Basically, you can learn to be just like her if you wanted to... which I do.

I am especially thrilled about her recipe section. There are so many great recipes she writes about that I can't even handle it! One in particular is the Penne Arrabiata. I used to buy the frozen kind at Trader Joe's whenever I was in Washington. I looove it. A little spicy, a little tangy and so good. My little sisters even love it. But there is no Trader Joe's here and when I saw this recipe I almost cried. Why? I don't know. And it's so easy.

SERVES: 4

TIME: 15 minutes

• Coarse salt
• 1 pound penne
• 2 cups of your favorite tomato sauce (see the recipe included with the Eggplant Parmesan)
• 1 long red chili, cut into quarters (remove seeds if you don’t want it too spicy)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/2 cup firmly packed, finely grated pecorino cheese (about 1 1/2 ounces)

Set a large pot of water on to boil and season with a few big pinches of salt. Boil the penne for two minutes less than the package tells you to. Meanwhile, heat the tomato sauce with the pieces of chili in a large frying pan over low heat to infuse the chili into the sauce. Reserving about a teacup of boiling water from your pasta pot, drain the pasta and add it to the frying pan with the tomato sauce. Stir the pasta and sauce together with the olive oil and let it cook on low heat for two minutes, adding a bit of the reserved pasta water if necessary. You want the pasta to be just coated by the sauce, not swimming in it. Turn off the heat, remove the pieces of chili, stir in the pecorino and serve.

it's coming.

Firstly, I want to thank everyone for their support after that last post. I was really feeling blue and I am so glad I have people in my life who are there for me and love me. I really do appreciate every single one of you... and you know who you are.

Nextly, let's talk about Christmas.

I am very excited about this. I think I am more excited for this SEASON than for the actual day of Christmas. I love the music. The snow. The holiday shopping traffic. The busy mall. The hot soups and hot chocolates. The lights. I could really go on and on. It makes me feel warm inside. Does it do this for you? It's quite possibly the most inspiring holiday ever.

It makes me want to do tons of holiday crafts. I have already made a wreath that really didn't turn out to be Christmas-y. It just turned out cute and totally usable all year round.

Here are some other crafts I want to make:

The yarn wreath. Actually, I have already made one and they are probably the easiest things ever. Just buy a foam ring and then your favorite yarn and wrap it around. Time consuming, yes. However, it's way cute and super cheap and I love it.

Another foam extravaganza. These are adorable and rustic and they look kind of homemade but mostly they look awesome. Even though I have inherited hundreds of ornaments, I still want to make these and find some sort of reason to use them all year round. Maybe put them in a bowl or on a plate for the coffee table? Yes.

And foam party #3. Foam cone with felt flaps. I love this idea. I love it. And it's perfect for the holidays. I bet you could use a different color felt and keep it up year round. Like, grey and yellow cones. They won't look like Christmas. I promise.

therapy.

This post is about to get very personal.

I think I really do need a therapist but I have no health insurance and I can't afford to pay for it myself.

However, I think this blog is like therapy for me so that is why I am channeling my energy, or should I say EMOTIONS to here.

Thanksgiving was great. I was so happy to be able to see family and friends I haven't seen in literally a decade. I loved being able to spend time with my mom and little sisters and be able to share the holiday with them.

Thanksgiving was also strange for me. Like I said, there were people - family - I haven't seen in years. It was so odd and I felt so uncomfortable and out of place. I began to feel sorry for myself because what is more important than family? And I had not kept up any sort of relationship with them and I felt like nobody knew who I was or why I was even there. I noticed that I was not acting like myself and that I was becoming this silent, shy, introvert that I normally am not. I hated it. Absolutely HATED it.

I don't know why I became so not myself. But it hit me that I didn't like how everything has changed and everything is different from the last time I was around a decade ago. (Decade, I hate that I can say a decade ago and I can remember what I was doing a DECADE ago.) I felt like I didn't know these people, my family. It's weird to me that life keeps on going for everyone and things change for everyone and I am just seeing where people are right now... I don't get to see the change happen. I mean, who am I to get upset with the universe when life continues on? Things have definitely changed for me and my life.

I hate change. I hate it with an ever-growing passion. I wish things would stay the same forever and we would never have to deal with anything difficult. Of course, without change I wouldn't be able to grow and hopefully become a better person.

I never like to talk about it. I don't like to talk about how my mom's Alzheimer's affects me. I actually never talk about it. It kills me when I see her struggle with remembering what she is talking about. It tears me up when I see her spell my name wrong. My name, the one she gave me when I was born. And I hate that inevitably she will not remember me or any of her children. It has been hard for me to think of things to be thankful for when I feel like my life was the epitome of tragedy.

I try to look strong. I try to be brave about it. Life happens. People are dealt crappy cards in life. I get it. Oh, how I get it. But, the truth of the matter is that it's hard. And no matter how strong or brave I try to be, I feel like a child inside. Terrified of the future. Friends have told me that I adapt to change very well. Maybe I look like I do, but on the inside, I fall apart. I ignore it and it ends up killing my soul. I have gotten really good at putting on a happy face and pretending.

I don't even know this person that I am now. I have gotten so good at wearing this mask (so to speak) that when I take it off, I don't recognize myself anymore. That's what made Thanksgiving so weird for me. The people haven't really changed. I have. I didn't know who I was or where I fit in and I regressed to the days where I was still trying to figure out me.

I need to not keep things bottled up inside me. I need to feel the emotions that I am feeling and not pretend like everything is ok when I'm not. It damages the soul. It changes me and makes me into a person that I can't recognize. I don't mean for this to sound all, "Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?" blah blah blah. But seriously, this was what I was dealing with for the past few months!

So on the drive home yesterday, I realized this and got a burst of motivation. Something I have not felt in so long. I just can't wait to get this life of mine going again. I can't wait to feel purpose and I can't wait to move on and grow up even more. I am getting that tingling feeling in my feet. The feeling of waking up, becoming alive again.

thankfuls update.

Well well well, look who fell behind on her list of thankfuls. Way to go.

It's ok. I'm going to catch up on that RIGHT now.

Are you ready for this?

10. The gospel. It is unbelievable how important this is to me and the amount of gratitude I have for it just grows and grows.

11. Crafts. I am kind of one to be the master procrastinator when it comes to crafts - I like to start them but take FOREVER to finish them. It drives me crazy. However, I LOVE doing them. I love having something I am looking forward to see the outcome of and I love being busy doing something fun.

12. Diet Coke. I know I am so pathetic but my love for DC has not wavered but has grown. Whatever. I really don't care. I love going to McDonald's and getting my $1 drink and enjoy that first sip as the bubbles tickle my throat. Ohhh it's definitely love. haha

13. Chips and dip. Best. Snack. Ever.

14. My apartment. I know I said I am glad to have a place to call home, but let's be honest here, I'm pretty obsessed with my apartment. It makes me feel warm inside.

15. My calling. I never thought I would be grateful to be the Relief Society teacher because we all know how I hate speaking in front of any amount of people larger than 4. I have been known to refuse to give talks. And although I have minor panic attacks each Saturday before I teach, the feeling I get when I am done is absolutely amazing.

16. Stuffing. Let's be real here, this is the best side dish of Thanksgiving. And I am excited to stuff my face with it.

17. My family. Oh my family. I don't know if I could even express the gratitude I have for them. I love them all and I am really so very excited to see Julia and Natalia this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for how helpful and involved my extended family has been with everything happening with my mom. My family deserves it's own post. But, they are definitely HIGH on this thankful list.

18. Funny moments. I'm pretty sure laughing is the SOLE reason why I haven't spiraled down to the pits of despair. And seriously, I just have to shout out to Kirk for making me laugh EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

19. Kirk. Could I get any more lucky with this guy? I don't think so. He has been there for me when I have needed him most. He supports me and wants me to succeed in everything I do. I really do love him and I SO incredibly grateful to have him in my life. He's a keeper.

20. Music. This is such a generic thankful however, it's something I can't even begin to go into detail about. It lifts my soul, takes me on vacation and has the ability to change my mood.

21. The Food Network. We all know my love for the Food Network is undying. And divine. I love food. I love TV. Beautiful marriage.

22. While on the topic of television, I am becoming more obsessed with HGTV. I love getting awesome ideas to decorate and looking inside of people's homes.

And more to come as the month goes! Now I'm going to get ready for the day. BFF Mindy is in town and I do plan to see her tonight. And we leave for California on Wednesday. JOY!

sara bareilles.

One sold out concert plus one friend who didn't want her ticket EQUALS I was able to see Sara Bareilles last night.

It was A-MAZING.

I love her and always have. I remember when I got her first album over 4 years ago, I listened to it thousands of times, memorizing every single one of her songs.

And the best part is that whenever I listen to any of her songs now, they are not old to me at all. I still love them just as much, if not more than when I first heard them.

I love that she writes all of her songs.

I love her voice.

She is unbelievably talented.

I expected the piano... and the guitar.

But when she whipped out the accordion, I was shocked!

Her voice is as smooth as honey and its no wonder that she is a Grammy Award winner.

I just love her and I would totally go see her again.

I love all of her songs and she played a lot of my favorites. However, my absolute favorite song of hers is "Gravity." When she performed this song last night, I may have gotten a little teary eyed.

She played the acoustic version but, the one on youtube doesn't do it justice.

decisions decisions.

Alright alright alright alright alright alright.

Verdict is in and this old woman is going BACK to school... to prove to EVERYONE that I am freaking awesome. And to shut every one up.

For REAL.

I don't have to declare a major quite yet however, I have a few ideas of what I really, truly and deeply would love to study.

My family (extended included) believe I should study something that can make me money right after I graduate. I say, that is wise, but NO fun. In fact, zero fun since I do not have a passion for calculating someone's finances, or making graphs for my boss. BORING. Not for me. I find happiness and contentment in creativity and being able to express myself. I know I sound like a total hippie and yes, I have some hippie in this soul. Whatever, I own it.

Something I have been wanting to do since I was a wee babe was be an artist. Honest. People would ask my kindergarten self what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would say an artist. AN ARTIST!

Every single art class I had from grade school through high school, I was so happy and almost giddy with excitement to go to class. I was in my element. My zone. How awesome would it be to be able to study and major in ART? My uncle would say is, "Ahhhh there is no way to make a decent living with that degree!"

Then there is the whole culinary arts thing. This has been a more recent dream of mine. I remember telling my mom I wanted to go to culinary arts school right after high school and she kindly disagreed and told me to study something else and get a degree in something more practical. She probably meant business or something. Culinary arts is just another degree my awesome uncle would say "AHHHH there is no way to make a decent living with THAT degree!"

What my uncle doesn't know is that I have an entrepreneurial mind. That, and an entrepreneur for a boyfriend. With our powers combined, we could figure out SOME way to make a pretty penny. Or an ugly penny.

So I've got a lot of nay-sayers in my life.

There is also the whole teaching thing. I have wanted to be a high school teacher and think it would be a fantastic career. I had some pretty cool teachers in high school and I actually like high school students... good benefits, summers off... what more?

And also, nursing. Nursing would make some money. I LOVE science. I do. Vomit? not so much a fan of. In fact, just the word vomit kind of makes me gag.

Anyway, it is clearly decision making time. It's a tough call and the MAIN reason I decided to take a break from college in the first place.

Does anyone have any great advice? I am in need of some great advice.

Thoughts?

nonsensical.

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.

It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

Which is what I do.

And that enables you to laugh at life’s realities."

-Dr. Seuss

thankful: #8 and #9

Hola.

I have a few more things I would like to share and add to my list of thankfuls.

8. I am thankful for Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Although I put up a fight every time it happens, the pre-thanksgiving Christmas decorations and music always gets me very excited for the holidays and definitely lifts my spirits.

9. Slippers. My apartment is bipolar when it comes to the thermostat. When the cool air is on, my room gets boiling hot. And when the heat is on, the thermostat will not let me set it above 62 degrees. WHAT is up with that? So I was moseying through my home and my feet were freezing! Then I remembered I had some very soft, very plush slippers. HELLO!

Making this list is very humbling... Everyday there are things that happen and can bring me down. Like today, I found out that GAY ObamaCare only includes civilians and NOT any government personnel. COOL. Thanks a lot OBAMACARE. Anyway, as I was about to curse the president, I remembered I needed to write my blog about my thankfuls for yesterday and today. Humbling. (Even though I'm still pissed. Yes, I am.)

Now I'm off to make some dinner... what to make? Decisions decisions...

i have thanks.

I know it has been approximately one week since Halloween and I have yet to change my header on this here bloggy blog. And since I have approximately no job and do approximately nothing all day, I really have no excuse as to why it hasn't been changed.

But, you better be prepared because it's about to change. Probably within a day or two... Still working on my photoshop skills, ok?

Anyway, would you like to hear what I have been up to? I know I said nothing, but I'm going to be honest, I lied. I actually have been pretty busy until yesterday.

My mom came into town! She spent a good 5 days with us and we had a blast! We were even able to have a lovely photoshoot courtesy of yours truly. I should probably get into the photography business with my skills. I have learned through this experience that I am actually more comfortable behind the camera than in front of one. Weird. I thought I was such a ham... I guess I'm not. (I'm speaking as if I'm really a professional here.)

Here are a few of my favorites!

In other news, I am really excited for Thanksgiving! This year, we are making the road-trip to Northern California which means less travel time, and also means not driving through TWO mountain passes. I was getting pretty sick of the drive to and from Utah and Washington. Anyway, I also get to see MOST of my family. I get to see my daddio and my madre and both sides of the family. This has not been able to happen since I was about 6 or 7... WOW. It's gonna be crazy. AND I am bringing Kirk. He will get to experience my family first hand... we'll see how well he likes it :)

Anyway, I have decided I am going to copy cat my BFF Heather on her Thankful posts for the month of November. I think this is a splendid idea. And what better way to say "GREAT IDEA!" than to copy it? And since it is the 7th of November, it looks like I have to make up for lost time.

It's a little bit hard to think about things I am thankful for when I feel like my life is all over the place but here it goes: (in no particular order)

1. I am thankful for Disney movies. They make me happy no matter what mood I am in. Especially the ones that remind me of my childhood. Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Cinderella, and The Jungle Book. For some reason the Jungle Book brings back memories of Bebe and Dolly when they were babies.

2. Friends. I have never been MORE thankful for friends until now. I have always been grateful for them but since everything has been going on with our family, it has become very apparent to me how IMPORTANT these people are to me. I honestly don't know where I would be without them.

3. Washing machines. I think I would probably die without one. Ok, not really. I would find another way to wash my things. BUT, I am grateful for this man made machinery that cleans my bedding, blankets, clothes, towels etc. I am a little bit OCD when it comes to my bed especially and I love that I can wash it lickity split and enjoy the clean smells of Tide and bounce sheets. MMMM.

4. Candles. Speaking of smells, what is better than the scent of cranberries or cinnamon vanilla wafting through the air? Not much, not much.

5. Today's technology. It is so awesome to me that we can keep in touch with people so easily these days. I can pick up the phone and call, text or email someone instantly.

6. Going to the movies with Kirk. I am grateful that Kirk enjoys the magic of movie theaters as much as I do.

7. Having a place to call home. Although, I can't say that Washington is my home, or California is my home, I have felt more and more that Utah is my home... for now. And I am giddy to come home to my apartment after a long day of work or a trip across the country.

(I'm also grateful for this picture... I love piglets.)

More thankfuls to be written soon!

Happy Sunday!

ew.

Today I had an experience that was purely gross.

I was at Kirk's apartment tonight. I had to use the restroom like crazy so I walked into his bathroom that he shares with another roommate and there was a PUDDLE of URINE on the floor.

A PUDDLE!

A few things ran through my mind when I saw this.

1. How can one MISS the toilet like that and NOT bother to clean up after themselves?

2. Maybe this is a common thing among boys and since I grew up with approximately ZERO brothers, I have no experience in this matter.

3. However, I did have a step brother and although he only visited every summer and every other Thanksgiving and Christmas, I did not encounter any urine on the floor whatsoever.

4. Stop gagging.

5. Maybe that's why BYU has the honor code - which I was clearly in violation of - and thus it would have prevented me from running into such a disgusting scene.

I was actually more pissed (pun intended) than anything else. I ran from the restroom to Kirk and demanded that he should what was in the bathroom. Of course he denied any responsibility in the matter (he tends to be pretty neat and clean and I really appreciate that about him. I enjoy cleanliness. Who doesn't?) and continued to explain that it's his roommate and it has actually been going on for a while...

um... WHAT?

He then told me that he didn't know how to tell his roommate to clean up his PEE from the floor without sounding condescending or hurting his feelings.

I think the best way to handle this situation is of course with a sign above the toilet that says,

"Please control your aim or clean your mess, you filthy, filthy animal."

sleep?

Have you been wondering what I have been doing with my newfound freedom?

If you think I have been going to bed late and sleeping in all day, you are so wrong.

I have actually not been able to go to bed late this ENTIRE week.

Why? Well, the answer could be one of two things. Or a combination of both.

1. It could be because I am used to going to bed around 11pm to wake up at 6:30am.

or

2. I am getting older and all my body wants to do is mimic the sleep patterns of a senior citizen.

No matter if I wake up at noon or 7am, I still want to go to sleep come midnight. Which is EARLY for me. I guess midnight is late for me now. Or if I fall asleep at 4, I still wake up at 7am.

Obviously, I have tried to go to sleep later and I have tried to sleep in, but my internal clock is getting the best of me and I don't want to give in. But, it looks like I have to.

I had an epiphany when the power went out on Sunday night. Back in the day, you could only work when the sun was up HENCE the saying, "early to bed, early to rise" and "the early bird catches the worm." I haven't really been a fan of these sayings mostly because I am the queen of the opposite. (Or at least I was.) But, these days - the days of electricity - who needs to wake up early? Who needs to go to bed early? Have you noticed that only OLD people make you wake up early? It's because they are still living on the notion that you can only be productive with your life if you wake up early. But then, if you do, you are so tired that you need to go to bed early stunting any work you may do after 10pm. Kirk is a prime example of this. He does his BEST work during the wee-hours of the night. It's quiet, it's dark. There are little to no distractions. I am the same way. I don't want to clean my room during the day. I would much rather do it at night. I feel like that is when my natural ADD is subdued and I am finally able to concentrate on what's important. I don't know why this is. But I do know that it's how I have been ever since I was little. I used to BEG my babysitter to allow me to stay up. In fact, I actually got her to let me stay up until 1am. Then my mom came home and she got in trouble. (Bad move to let the kid convince you to do anything. I've been guilty of that too. Karma.)

In all reality, I do feel somewhat more productive when I wake up early. I think it's because it's when most of the world is awaking up too and there are more interactions you could potentially have. At night, it is quite lonely. There are only a few people up and able to commune with me. Maybe I should create a movement to change the way we live. Let us be awake at night and sleep during the day. I guess what I am trying to say is let us all become vampires.

Halloween is coming.

Yes, I do have a slight obsession with YouTube lately. Can you blame me? Any song or video clip I could ever want is right at my fingertips.

Anyway, I found this gem and I love it so. Coldplay, you are my true love. Can I see you in concert soon? I bet you are magical.

Lost featuring Jay-Z

day man.

Have I ever mentioned the crazy WEIRD dreams I have been having lately? Must be the spirit of Halloween haunting me while I sleep because I am not usually one to wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. I am 23 years old dang it!

I did fall asleep watching Karate Kid (with Will Smith's kid) so that may explain the part of my dream where I went to China. That does not explain the part where we are flying back home and decide to fly off the edge of the world. That doesn't make any sense. Or the part where I kissed what I thought was a human but then it turned out to be a HORSE. Well actually, I was watching a few episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia... Charlie wanted a horse in one episode and in another Frank convinces Dee and Charlie that they ate HUMAN meat. So... actually that kind of makes sense.

Yes, this show is completely inappropriate, I mean BEYOND inappropriate. One episode in particular makes me laugh every single time I watch it, "Dee's Dates a Retard." Maybe the real problem here isn't my brain. Maybe the problem is the shows I am choosing to watch. They are affecting me in ways I never thought possible. But it's SOOOOOO funny.

But, let me be honest here, I don't want to stop watching these favorites. These are what bring happiness to my soul. So what if I depend on a television to bring me happiness. That's not bad right?

Shoot. I really need to find a hobby.

But for now, enjoy this song courtesy of It's Always Sunny. It's my new favorite.

I am not trying to get you to start watching this show because I will be embarrassed when you watch it and then stop because of how inappropriate it is. I don't want you to judge me either. So, I am recommending that you DO NOT watch it.

power outage

The power went out last night... around 2AM.

It was so strange. I was watching episodes of Scrubs and Kirk was working on websites or something and all of a sudden everything just shut down. Kirk and I sat there for a second staring at the darkness thinking that we must have done something to create this power outage. We immediately looked outside and realized that all the streetlights and buildings, except for the hospital, had no power either. Of course Kirk's response is that the world is ending or aliens are going to come and eat us. I haven't had a power outage since I was living in Washington... probably for about 5 years. I remember growing up, it was not uncommon for the lights to go out for days at a time and I thought it was SO cool. We would play games at night with flashlights and eat BBQ every night and the best part was, NO school. A kid's heaven.

The silence was getting to me. I was getting stir crazy. We couldn't do ANYTHING! How pathetic is that!? Kirk and I discussed how we probably would be the first to die in a situation like this because our skills are useless in a powerless world. Well, at least Kirk wouldn't be able to make a living making websites. Sad how much we depend on electricity these days. But, whatever, I am not ashamed. I am a true woman of the 21st century. Sue me.

Luckily, the power came back on within a few hours.

In other news, I officially resigned from my job in American Fork. I just could not do it. And I know in an economy like this, it was probably a dumb move. But, when I was to the point of tears every day or so depressed to go to sleep because I had to wake up the next morning to work... or when my ulcer returned, I just couldn't stand to work one more day there. It wasn't HORRIBLE. No one was particularly mean to me, it just made me feel unsatisfied with life. I need human interaction. That is what I have learned about myself. I am now going to confess that I really do miss Shade. I miss the girls, I miss the customers, I miss the craziness and the unorganization of corporate. I believe I can say that now.

Anyway, I am now in the market for another job. But this time, I'm looking for part-time because I am going back to school in January and I can't have a full-time job for that. :)

Also, this is my new favorite song. Natasha Bedingfield has the gift of making happy music. It's true.

let's get physical here.

There I was.

INNOCENTLY browsing the world wide web.

Digg.com had an article about the top 5 most creepy workout music videos.

Two strong thoughts raced through my mind:

First of all, who on earth would even think of such a combination of topics?

And secondly, there is no way I'm gonna pass up THAT article. I am intrigued. (Just like I was intrigued with Sister Wives but THAT deserves its OWN post.)

As I began to watch all the videos, the title of the article started to ring true to my soul and I was becoming more and more creeped-out.

Then, this little gem came up.

Now, I know this may be hard for some of you to watch. I am feeling the regret set in... and I am mortified at myself for even POSTING such a video. But, I had to share my surprise.

Who would have thought that sweet Sandy from Grease or Olivia Newton John would choose to be in such a sketchy, BIZARRE video?!

I mean, do we REALLY need to watch her shower with her sweatband on? Or how about watch her coach 4 fatties to perfect physical form in a matter of minutes?

I literally had to pick up my jaw from the floor when I finished.

I had no idea that was the intention of the song when I would sing it whilst working out. It not only was disturbing but it raised more questions about what the song was actually about.

Innuendos anyone?

creepy crawlies. sickies.

Halloween must be upon us.

Today I experienced too many creepy things. TOO MANY!

A slug. 2 spiders. One bumble bee.

ON MY DESK. They were all alive.

How did they get there you ask?

My answer is Halloween put them on there. Logically.

Ok. I'll stop being dramatic now.

Alright, so remember when I got my current job? I was so excited. I needed a job so badly. SO badly. And now, I hate to say it, but I actually kind of dread going. I told myself that I wouldn't complain about it because no one REALLY enjoys going to work. But, when you start having panic attacks on your way to work, it's cause for concern.

I am so grateful to HAVE a job because let's be real here, it took me months to find one and I am so glad that lady friend, Cedar hooked me up!

But sadly, the 6:30 am wake up probably won't get old. And sitting a desk with not a thing to do may create a nervous breakdown. Oh, and the traffic... sigh. Last week, I may have had to excuse myself from my workspace to cry in the bathroom. It's ok though. I will get through it. Plus, I am starting school in January. I can handle it.

IN OTHER NEWS,

Remember when I went to South Carolina last week? Oh. My. Gosh. I was made for that place!

Want to see some pictures? Well, unfortunately I am at Kirk-face's house and therefore do not have photos saved onto his sweet sauce computer. BUT, if you go to MINDY'S BLOG POST you can see most of my awesome adventure. Yes, this is the lazy way to blog about my trip. I PROMISE I will do a better post about it later. It just stresses me out to post so many pictures.

Let us also discuss the following picture:

(one of my many favorite lines)

If you can name this movie, you get a billion points in my book. Trust me, you WANT to be in my book... with LOTS of points.

This is the FIRST PG-13 movie I watched and not only did I love this movie, it is also the first movie I have memorized all the lines of and have incorporated them into everyday conversation.

welp... gonna go watch a movie with my hun bunz. haha

P.S. Speaking of movies...

Three movies you and I should watch this all hallows season:

1. Edward Scissorhands

2. Nightmare Before Christmas

3. Hocus Pocus

summerville, sc

Greetings from Summerville, SC!

I'm up.

It's about 2:45 in the AM here in South Carolina and naturally my sleeping schedule is all sorts of out of whack.

So yes, I am awake.

Mindy will kill me because she says she is gonna wake me up at 10 (also known as 8 in the AM in Utah) tomorrow morning for fun things and boating! Of course my poor self is not used to such early hours these last couple of days... waking up at almost noon. Who do I think I am? Royalty?

I'm gonna have a rude awakening when comes Friday and I gotta wake up at good ol' 6 o'clock. Grand.

This place is awesome. I wish I could stay here in South Carolina. Buy one of the charming plantation homes and live right on the beach. I love the southern style. I think I was meant to be on the east coast. It just feels right.

We went to Charleston today and I love that little city on the ocean. I love that the buildings are no taller than the tallest church. I love how clean it is! And I love the outdoor fans. It's awesome!

Anyway, I'm just checking in, it has been a while since I have updated and don't you worry your lovely selves,

a fully-loaded update is to come with pictures and pictures galore!

xoxo

Alix